Скачать карту Герои 3: Trio of Doom (Heroes 3)

Слухи

Fight Club

Rumor has it that the local branches of The Fight Club are offering prizes!
Ritcher1 fun

ritcher1's breath is worse than his bite. :)
Swamp

You hear a group of ragged adventurers talking in hushed tones about
Seer Hut

Are you looking for adventure? Then the swamp seer may have a quest that right up your alley!
Sulphur

Sulphur deposits are rich in the wastelands across the sea
shrine of manliness

The Shrine of Manliness is rumored to be only reachable via monolith.

События

Intro

A dark cloud of despair has descended on the Community after a successful coup attempt on the kingdom of H3Trio. The perpetrators were none other than Qrystal and Cattleman; once loyal advisors to the former Lord of the fallen kingdom! The would-be dictators have usurped the throne from the wise death knight, Black Marauder, (and his loyal sidekick, Sir Charles the genie) and started a reign of terror in the lands adjacent to H3Trio. Blackie and Chuckles (as they are affectionately known) have seemingly vanished off the face of Erathia. To make matters worse, you suspect the dastardly pair of manipulating your neighboring rival into declaring war on you! Ok.... Let's review: 1. Qrystal the dainty crystal dragon and her partner in crime (and other various activities), have Overthrown Black Marauder and Sir Charles, and taken control of H3Trio. 2. Blackie and Chuckles haven't been seen since the hostile takeover. It's rumored that they've been taken in by an underground group know as the CFF (The Community Freedom Fighters), led by the mysterious Scarlet Pimpergnoll. (Who also happens to be the arch nemesis of Qrystal and Cattleman). 3. The diabolical duo have somehow manipulated your neighbor (and rival warlock) into declaring war on your kingdom. You would like to help out Blackie and Chuckles, but you must focus your energies on preparing for war with your rival warlock! By the way, did I mention Qrystal and Cattleman renamed H3Trio to..... THE TRIO OF DOOM!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Search for the plump porker

Where did that bag of bones hide that cursed thing? Arrrggg!! The noise of Qrystal's ranting mingles with the sounds of furniture being up-ended and flung across the room. Cattleman cringes as what sounds to be a heavy book case crashes into the wall. TAC (aka The Ancient Cattleman), cautiously strolls into the room and tries to soothe his rampaging partner. Don't worry, my cute little dragon, that plump porker has to be around here somewhere. The plump porker that TAC is referring to is Blackie's magical pink piggy bank, which holds the bulk of the kingdom's treasury. Without the plump porker, we'll never be able to launch our offensive against the Community. Qrystal laments as she leaps at her beefy (beefy... get it? LOL!!!) companion. She grapples Cattleman in a dragon-sized hug and carries him off towards the bed chambers. I need your help with something.... [The rest of this is unsuitable for family viewing ;)]
Ungo Construction

A loud commotion in the courtyard awakens you from your slumber. The scene that unfolds as you gaze over the edge of the balcony is almost comedic. A tall barrel-chested man sporting a long curling mustache is shouting obscenities and lashing a whip at a group of six gnolls, while at the same time arguing with your captain of the guard. What is the meaning of this?, you shout down to your captain. The ruckus suddenly comes to a grinding halt as all eight heads turn your way. You instantly recognize the man with the mustache as non other than the infamous beast master, Ungoliant. The captain of the guard clears his throat and speaks. Sire, this man says he is on a mission for the CFF. I tried to send them away, but he insisted on.... Look! interrupts Ungo. I owe a certain member of the CFF a favor, so I agreed to round up a construction crew and bring them to your castle. As far as I'm concerned, my debt is paid-in-full and I'm outta here! Ungo takes a few steps towards the outer gate and then stops and turns around. I don't care what the hell you do with those gnolls! Put 'em to work or kick 'em out! It doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me! With that, the beast master-turned-mercenary turns and strides out the gate to his horse. You consider the six gnolls for a moment; they're all decked out in dingy coveralls and are glancing around nervously. Hmmmmmm.... I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.... Perhaps I can use these carpenters to work on the Medusa housing project....
Gnoll Construction

The group of nervous gnolls work hard and finish the Medusa housing project in 3 days; quite impressive. However, upon closer inspection of the new structure, you notice their workmanship is so shoddy, that you'll *never* be able to upgrade the structure later! You growl in rage as you continue to survey the ramshackle housing units! Dammit!!! I knew I should have never trusted those infernal gnolls! You pace the floor in fury as you try to think of a way to set things right. Finally, you remember a retired warlock who works part time as a handyman. His reputation is that of a master carpenter, but his prices are the highest in the realm. Rex Mundi is his name.....
Rex Construction

Rex Mundi arrived this morning at the crack of dawn carrying a massive tool chest. His apparent apprentice, a dwarf-sized man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Rex, trudged in behind Rex pushing an equipment-laden cart. After an hour of intense negotiations, Rex agreed to fix up the Medusa chapel for 4000 gold. By the end of the day, Rex and his mini companion have fixed up the Chapel of Stilled Voices. In fact, Rex did such a fine job, several new occupants move in before the end of the day.
Bye Bye Mr. Manly

Shocking news filters in today from the Community Headquarters. Apparently the tyrannical emperor, Hooloservoo the Terrible, has executed the great philosopher Mr. Manly. However, the obviously insane emperor wasn't content of just getting rid of Mr. Manly! He also had hundreds of his followers slaughtered, and sank two of his manly ships. (Luckily Hooloservoo and his zealot followers never discovered the Shrine of Manliness... perhaps you should seek out this sacred place...) As an avid follower of His Manliness, this news strikes you with a chord of great sadness. :( You renew your inner vow to join the CFF cause after this grim business of war with your neighbor is finished!
Manly's Lessons

Some local fishermen make a fascinating discovery today! A bottle containing a snippet from one of Mr. Manly's lessons washed up near the docks sometime during the night. Evidently, Manly's devoted followers on the besieged ships hurriedly stuffed as many of the lessons of manliness as they could into bottles, and tossed them into the sea. Hmmmmm, I bet if you searched near the wreckage, you might be able to find some more of these snippets. (hint hint)
The Heroes Embark

By darkness of night, the unlikely trio leaves the confines of the hidden CFF base unobserved. Sir Charles, The Scarlet Pimpergnoll, and Kriton (Barbarian for hire) keep to the shadows as they sneak towards the edge of town. Do you really think this crazy plan of yours will work?, Chuckles whispers to the mysterious masked gnoll. And how do you know we can trust this barbarian? Don't sweat it Chuckles! Kriton may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch, but he's loyal enough. Especially when ale is involved; and I've promised him 3 kegs of the tavern's finest when we finish the task at hand. Besides, he's no slouch with that axe! I've seen him hack the head off a troll with a one-handed swing before. As far as the plan goes, all we need to do is distract Qrystal and TAC for a few minutes, Blackie will take care of the rest. Alright, I hope you're right about this As they reach the edge of town and melt into the tangle of the swamp beyond, Kriton asks, Hey! What are you two whispering about? We're just discussing how the ale will flow like wine when we get back, Scarlet Gnoll replies. Kriton's grin nearly splits his face in half.
Mad Cap Encounter #1

Shortly after leaving town, our three heroes come across a curious sight. Several yards off the path behind a copse of trees is a slumbering dragon. Not just any dragon; it's Furchtlos the Ferocious! Quickly scouting the area, Kriton finds a wheel barrow loaded full of sulphur lying close by. The Scarlet Pimpergnoll examines the wheel barrow, and spies an engraved 'SP' on the side. Egads! That's *my* wheel barrow! The last I saw of it, was right before it was confiscated by company of Community-loyal troops. Judging from Furby's fresh necklace of human skulls, Pimpergnoll guesses the troops traveling with the barrow must have met an untimely demise. The red-cloaked gnoll grabs the handles of the wheel barrow and pushes off into the darkness.
Mad Cap Encounter #1 - followup

An grinning adolescent gnoll pushing a wheel barrow paid you a visit today. The happy young gnoll guided the wheel barrow to the front gate, and then emptied its contents on the road. He then scurried off into the woods with the barrow.
Q finds the plump porker

It's mine! ALL MINE!!! Qrystal shrieks as she bolts into the throne room carrying the coveted plump porker. After all my searching and seeking, IT'S MINE!!! Qrystal's hand tremble as she fumbles with the latching mechanism. Unfortunately, no matter what Qrystal does, the latch refuses to open. That lousy no good bag of bones! He dragon-proofed it! Not to be foiled so easily, Qrystal fetches her spell book and casts every manner of Open, Disarm, and Pick Lock spell at her disposal; all to no avail. With a blood curdling scream, Qrystal slams the poor pink porker to the floor and stomps on it numerous times with her massive... er... I mean dainty foot. Ha ha!! The treasure is now finally MINE!!! However, when Qrystal lifts her foot off the floor, she sees to her utter horror that the plump porker isn't even scratched. That bag of bones!! He constructed the pink porker out of a indestructible dragon-proof resin! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Ksummers helps out

Emerging from the swamp after days of travel, our weary heroes veer toward the cottage of the renowned enchantress Ksummers. The powerful and equally beautiful Ksummers moved to this remote meadow after the evil dictator Hooloservoo began showing signs of insanity. As Chuckles and his companions approach Ksummers' lush valley, a group of diamond golems stomp out of the forest and surround the trio. Seconds before Kriton is about to start swinging his axe, the lead golem's eyes start to glow. Without a word the golems turn and ramble back to their hiding places in the forest, leaving the path to Ksummers' cottage clear. The remainder of the walk up the path fills the heroes with feelings of peace and contentment; obviously an enchantment cast by the enchantress to dissuade fighting and bloodshed in her abode. As they draw near the front of the cottage, Sir Charles spots Ksummers seated at a circular table on the expansive front porch, sipping a glass of white wine. (Chuckles also notices the gnoll's tail wagging at a geometric rate). Ah, my friends! This is a pleasant surprise indeed! Please help yourself to cool drink! Much to the heroes' delight, 3 frosty mugs of ale materialize on the table. With considerable effort, the Scarlet Pimpergnoll controls his immensely wagging appendage and fills Ksummers in about the plight of H3Trio. After hearing the tale, Ksummers smiles mischievously and speaks with a sly coyness in her voice, I may have the perfect gift for you to give our dainty little dragon!
Chuckles, Kriton, and Gnoll attack #1

Qrystal relentlessly studied the plump porker day and night! Tireless searching for a means to open its latch and get to the hordes of treasure held within. (Thanks in part to Cattleman for keeping the coffee trough full at all hours). EUREKA! I THINK I GOT IT!! The dainty dragon's bellow shatters the silence in the castle, and nearly causes TAC to jump out of his leathery hide. With a sound that resembles a mixture of thunder and hundreds of crystal chandeliers tumbling down a flight of marble stairs, Qrystal begins dancing a jig. Running in to investigate the apocalyptic-like clamor, TAC skids to a stop and barely escapes being squashed like a bug. Sweetums! What is it? You finally cracked that confounded lock? No, my adorable side of beef, but I revealed the magically hidden keyhole! Woo hoo! And we both know that the bag of bones hides his keys under his pillow! TAC smiles in triumph and joins Qrystal in her dance of joy, but then.... BOOOOOOM!!!! The very foundation of the castle is shaken by an explosion on the main level. What the...., Qrystal curses under her breath. Before Qrystal can finish her curse, an all-too-familiar genie soars through the camber entrance. Riding on his back are a grinning barbarian and a mysteriously masked gnoll wearing a red cape. BLUE GOO!!! HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE AROUND HERE! WWWRRRAAHHHHHH!!!! Qrystal screams in a feral voice of pure hatred as she charges. Sir Charles easily dodges Q's initial lunge, and swoops low so Kriton and the gnoll can leap off. Honey.... I'm hooooome, Chuckles mocks as he cast mass-haste on his fellow comrades. The verbal jab further enrages the dainty dragon into her blood lust rage. Even Cattleman has to dive for safety as Q lashes out violently with her tail, nicking Kriton with enough force to send him flying 15 feet. Scarlet Pimpergnoll reaches into his pouch, pulls out the magical scroll given by Ksummers, and recites the arcane symbols....
Chuckles, Kriton, and Gnoll attack #2

The red-caped gnoll finishes chanting the arcane symbols etched on the scroll, and with a blinding flash of light, Ksummers' illusion is released. An illusionary image of Ritcher1 the gnaughty gnoll (buck naked of course) streaks through the air and latches on to Qrystal's exposed leg. AAAIIEEEEEEEE!! THE GNARLY GNOLL TROLL!!! Qrystal's screaming and cursing reaches new levels as she tries in vain to shake loose the illusionary gnoll. Using the distraction to his advantage, Pimpergnoll races out of the chamber to lower the gate, while Sir Charles dives at Cattleman. A hardened veteran of many bar brawls, TAC side steps the diving genie and counters with a death gaze. Lucky for Chuckles, Ksummers cast several resistance spells on the trio before they left her cottage, so the gaze harmlessly fizzles. Both combatants nod at each other in respect before rejoining the fisticuffs! In the mean time, Kriton groggily picks himself out of the pile of rubble, gingerly nursing a few broken ribs. He glances over towards Q, and sees her desperately clawing at her leg. Unable to give up the perfect opening, Kriton ignores his throbbing side and hefts his mighty axe into the air. Take *that* you oversized hunk of crystal!!, Kriton taunts as he swings the axe with all his might at Q's wriggling tail. OW! MY TAIL!! COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!. Qrystal rushes toward Kriton, who is running towards the open gate carrying a 5 foot section of Q's tail. HEY!! GIMMIE THAT TAIL! IT'LL TAKE ME A MONTH TO GROW A NEW TAIL! Seeing Kriton flee towards the exit, Chuckles conjures a keg of Foster's beer, and smashes it against TAC's skull; giving him time to bolt without exposing himself to a bullish counter attack. Chuckles, Kriton, and the Scarlet Pimpergnoll flee into the forest, with Qrystal and TAC hot on their heels. Blackie quickly runs from his hiding place in the brush near the forest edge and enters the H3Trip keep. Then he shuts the gate behind him. :)
Blackie and the CFF win the day

Chuckles, Kriton, and the masked gnoll split up in separate directions shortly after entering the forest. Qrystal follows the crystal-tail-wielding barbarian, TAC chases down the wise-cracking genie, while the mysterious gnoll takes to the trees to cause chaos during the chase. Meanwhile, Black Marauder is fast at work freeing his grunts from the dungeons and putting them to work refortifying the keep for a siege. After setting his masons into motion, Blackie locates the plump porker and climbs to the top of the watch tower to survey the wild goose chase outside the walls. Half a dozen times the limping Kriton is nearly smashed flat by the charging dragon, but each time the Scarlet Pimpergnoll would swoop down on Q's back to distract her. The TAC and Chuckles race was even more furious! Numerous times Cattleman's dagger-like horns miss stabbing the bothersome genie in the back by mere inches! Growing weary from the enduring retreat, our three heroes converge in the woods and make a b-line back towards the H3Trio keep, hoping that Sir Charles will have enough strength left to levitate over the wall with the barbarian and the gnoll in tow. However, as fivsome (is that even a word?) burst into the clearing in front of the castle gate, Q and TAC catch sight of the grinning form of Black Marauder perched atop the watch tower hugging the pink porker tightly. Qrystal skids to a stop and crumples to the ground; giant heart-wrenching sobs wrack her dainty frame. Her mournful wails of despair can be heard for miles, and her tears flow into the moat like a small tributary. The hapless Cattleman simply tries to sooth his crestfallen partner with gentle pat to the back with his hoofed foot. Black Marauder and the CFF had won the day!
Q and TAC get rehired

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!, pleads Qrystal for the umpteenth time. If you hire us back, I'll promise that we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER try to take over H3Trio again! Black Marauder furrows his brow and glares up at Qrystal with a stern look. Ok, BUT under one condition! Ooo ooo!! Anything! Anything! Qrystal exclaims with glee! You both have to forfeit your paychecks for a month to pay for the damage to the castle AND the damage to my bar tab at the tavern! It appears that *someone* signed Kriton's bill over to my account. Blackie ends his statement with a sigh and a roll of the eyes. Sure boss man! Anything! However, what Blackie didn't see was the claws of the dainty dragon's right hand crossed behind her back. :) The End.
Crystal Tail

You receive news today that Black Marauder has reclaimed the H3Trio throne and ended Qrystal's reign of terror. This is great news indeed! Now you can rest assured that your bastard neighbor will have no further assistance from the Trio of Doom. Also, earlier today that curious little gnoll boy stopped by your castle again. He dropped off what appears to be a solid hunk of crystal in the shape of a dragon's tail. How odd!

Объекты

Гидра
- 7, 41 подземелье
- Сообщение: A group of nasty hydra gaurd the dock. Curses!!!!
Гидра
- 60, 50 подземелье
- Сообщение: A group of nasty hydra guard the dock. Curses!!!!
Красный дракон
- 22, 3 подземелье
- Сообщение: Oh cripes! It looks like a family of dragons has made their nest near a rich source of sulphur
Красный дракон
- 19, 1 подземелье
- Сообщение: Oh cripes! It looks like a family of dragons has made their nest near a rich source of sulphur
Красный дракон
- 56, 69 подземелье
- Сообщение: Oh cripes! It looks like a family of dragons has made their nest near a rich source of sulphur
Красный дракон
- 54, 70 подземелье
- Сообщение: Oh cripes! It looks like a family of dragons has made their nest near a rich source of sulphur
Водный элементал
- 35, 71 подземелье
- Сообщение: Mysterious shapes emerge out of the water and attack your ship.
Водный элементал
- 40, 71 подземелье
- Сообщение: Mysterious shapes emerge out of the water and attack your ship.
Водный элементал
- 32, 0 подземелье
- Сообщение: Mysterious shapes emerge out of the water and attack your ship.
Водный элементал
- 40, 0 подземелье
- Сообщение: Mysterious shapes emerge out of the water and attack your ship.
Летучий змий
- 34, 11 подземелье
- Сообщение: The rocks surrounding the cartographer's hut are a perfect nesting ground for dragonflies. The nasty little pests must be starving..... they attack with unmatched ferocity.
Указатель
- 10, 50 подземелье
- Сообщение: Here lies the site where the infamous U.S.S Manly was sunk by the vengeful wrath of Hooloservoo.
Бутылка
- 11, 51 подземелье
- Сообщение: For those of you who were not on the planet back in 1989 here's a little history. Zsa Zsa Gabor was pulled over by the police in California. To make
Бутылка
- 12, 52 подземелье
- Сообщение: a long story short, she was arrested for slapping the cop. She then went to trial, and one of the reasons she said she couldn't go to jail was
Бутылка
- 13, 53 подземелье
- Сообщение: because she was afraid of lesbians. Got it? Good, now read on
Бутылка
- 14, 54 подземелье
- Сообщение: looking for the homes of some truly manly actors such as Sylvestor Stallone or John Travolta when lo and behold you suddenly find yourself face to
Бутылка
- 15, 55 подземелье
- Сообщение: face with the old cop slapper herself, Zsa Zsa Gabor! You have grown weary of this talentless celebrity's performance on the nightly news
Бутылка
- 16, 56 подземелье
- Сообщение: and would like to put her in her place. What can you say to her in a manly manner to accomplish this? Repeat after me
Бутылка
- 17, 57 подземелье
- Сообщение: 1. Gosh, Ms. Gabor, I guess the wrinkle cream backfired, huh?
Бутылка
- 18, 58 подземелье
- Сообщение: 2. Hey Zsa Zsa, babe, how's about coming over and slapping *this*!
Бутылка
- 19, 59 подземелье
- Сообщение: 3. Don't worry about those lesbians, Zsa Zsa. There is a line even *they* won't cross!
Бутылка
- 20, 60 подземелье
- Сообщение: Use any of the above phrases and as Ms. Gabor is slapping you across the face, you will be sure that she have no doubts as to the kind of man
Бутылка
- 21, 61 подземелье
- Сообщение: you really are. This is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.
Указатель
- 23, 61 подземелье
- Сообщение: (this is the bottom! If you want to read the lesson correctly, start at the top near the ship wreck)
Указатель
- 60, 54 подземелье
- Сообщение: Here lies the site where the infamous U.S.S Piston was sunk by the vengeful wrath of Hooloservoo.
Бутылка
- 58, 55 подземелье
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. Unfortunately into every man's life an unmanly chore will occasionally fall. This truth manifests itself
Бутылка
- 57, 56 подземелье
- Сообщение: with each and ever trip to the local laundromat. As tedious as this task may be, it will often present opportunities to meet single women. As always
Бутылка
- 56, 57 подземелье
- Сообщение: it is important to have a manly opening line in this situation. What can you say in a manly manner to break the ice with an attractive woman in your
Бутылка
- 49, 62 подземелье
- Сообщение: that she knows just what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.
Бутылка
- 50, 61 подземелье
- Сообщение: Use any of the above phrases as an opening line in your laundromat and as the woman is throwing chlorine bleach in your face your will have no doubt
Бутылка
- 51, 60 подземелье
- Сообщение: 3. Hey toots, I got something you can stiffen without using starch.
Бутылка
- 52, 59 подземелье
- Сообщение: 2. Excuse me, but what is the best method to remove these stains from my underwear?
Бутылка
- 53, 58 подземелье
- Сообщение: 1. Look, these are the socks I use to make the bulge in my pants.
Бутылка
- 54, 57 подземелье
- Сообщение: laundromat? Repeat after me
Указатель
- 48, 62 подземелье
- Сообщение: (this is the bottom! If you want to read the lesson correctly, start at the top near the ship wreck)
Каркас
- 24, 24 подземелье
- Сообщение: The grotesque rib cage hums with magically energy.
Топор кентавра
- 20, 25 подземелье
- Сообщение: You see a glowing axe leaning against a nearby tree. As you approach the axe, A troll ambles up. You want axe, you got to fight Grog! You want axe, you got to fight Grog's friends too! Grog gives you a toothy grin. Will you fight Grog and his friends for the lovely axe? (20 trolls)
Топор кентавра
- 61, 36 подземелье
- Сообщение: You see a glowing axe leaning against a nearby tree. As you approach the axe, A troll ambles up. You want axe, you got to fight Grog! You want axe, you got to fight Grog's friends too! Grog gives you a toothy grin. Will you fight Grog and his friends for the lovely axe? (20 trolls)
Сера
- 20, 3 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 17, 0 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 19, 2 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 18, 1 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 53, 70 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 55, 69 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 57, 69 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Сера
- 52, 71 подземелье
- Сообщение: Three mean & nasty dragons hover near the pile of sulphur.... do you make your presence known and grab the sulphur?
Хижина предсказателя
- 52, 0 подземелье
- Сообщение: Yo yo yo! Go kill some nasty red dragons to the West and I'll reward you with a tonage of exp!
Хижина предсказателя
- 10, 71 подземелье
- Сообщение: Yo yo yo! Go kill some nasty red dragons to the East and I'll reward you with a tonage of exp!
Лазурный дракон
- 1, 17 подземелье
- Сообщение: A manly azure dragon guards this monolith.
Лазурный дракон
- 70, 53 подземелье
- Сообщение: A manly azure dragon guards this monolith.
Подземелье
- 52, 15 суша
- Название: Gnoll Construction
- Сообщение: The result of the gnoll's efforts.
- Название: Rex Construction
- Сообщение: The results of Rex and Mini Rex's efforts
Указатель
- 32, 7 суша
- Сообщение: Welcome to the Fight Club
Указатель
- 37, 56 суша
- Сообщение: Welcome to the Fight Club
Событие
- 30, 28 суша
- Сообщение: Thank you for visiting the Hall of Manliness. Be manly and good day! ;)
Событие
- 29, 28 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. You are at a New Year's Eve party and have been entertaining the women with manly stories from your manly past, but as the magic hour approaches you find that for some totally unexplainable reason you have no female companionship with which to ring in the new year. Finally, at five minutes until midnight, you spy an attractive single female. What can you say to her in a manly manner to convince her to join you in the midnight festivities? Repeat after me
Событие
- 28, 27 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. Taking the advice of a friend at your manly job down at the cement plant, you decide to try a new dentist that he recommended. The doctor's name seems somewhat familiar, but you just can't seem to place it. Disregarding this, you make an appointment. The day arrives and you find yourself sitting in the dentist's chair when the dentist enters the room. The dentist is your old high school girlfriend. The one you dumped for the cheerleader! Though it has been some twenty years since you last met, you decide that it is of utmost importance to assert your manliness. How can you accomplish this in a manly manner? Repeat after me
Событие
- 27, 27 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. Into everyone's life genuine terror will occasionally fall. Something so frightful that even a manly man trembles at the thought of it. I am speaking, our course, or an audit by the I.R.S. It is with great caution and fear that you approach the office where your audit is about to be conducted. Sitting across from the auditor, you decide that you should, at the very least, assert your manliness. What can you say to the auditor to accomplish this in a manly manner? Repeat after me
Событие
- 26, 27 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. Your job requires you to work in a high-rise office building. Naturally, knowledge of fire safety and evacuation procedures is a must. To insure that all employees are familiar with this information your boss has invited a firefighter from your local fire department to give a lecture on proper emergency procedures. You eagerly arrive at the scheduled time when to your amazement and disbelief you find that the firefighter is a woman. What can you say to this obvious impostor to let her know that you do not approve of her taking another man's job while at the same time asserting your manliness. Repeat after me
Событие
- 25, 28 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. Unfortunately into every man's life an unmanly chore will occasionally fall. This truth manifests itself with each and ever trip to the local laundromat. As tedious as this task may be, it will often present opportunities to meet single women. As always, it is important to have a manly opening line in this situation. What can you say in a manly manner to break the ice with an attractive woman in your laundromat? Repeat after me
Событие
- 25, 29 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. You have just installed an economical and non-polluting ceiling fan in your bedroom when your wife and/or girlfriend enters and starts to complain. She says that she prefers using the expensive and cfc-spewing air conditioner. Your try to explain the benefits of using a ceiling fan, but she persists, saying she cannot understand why you bothered to hang the thing at all. What can you say to her in a manly manner to explain to her just why you prefer the ceiling fan? Repeat after me
Событие
- 24, 30 суша
- Сообщение: For those of you who were not on the planet back in 1989 here's a little history. Zsa Zsa Gabor was pulled over by the police in California. To make a long story short, she was arrested for slapping the cop. She then went to trial, and one of the reasons she said she couldn't go to jail was because she was afraid of lesbians. Got it? Good, now read on
Событие
- 24, 31 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. You've had a long day at the office and you are looking forward to returning home you are looking forward to returning home and listening to your favorite music on your brand new stereo. However, upon returning home you find that the cat, which belongs to your wife and/or girlfriend, has clawed your brand new speakers to shreds. Your anger reaches manly levels never before obtained and you decide to remedy the situation. But how do you explain the cat's sudden absence to your wife in a manly manner? Repeat after me
Событие
- 23, 32 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. You are out on a date with that new secretary from your office. You have taken her to the finest restaurant where you are telling her manly stories from your manly past. After an expensive and tasty meal she produces a cigarette and lights it up, exhaling the smoke in your direction. Ahh, now your manliness has been offended in a most foul manner. How do you let your date know that you find her habit disgusting in a manly manner? Repeat after me
Событие
- 22, 33 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. You are in a crowded elevator filled with professionally dressed women when the elevator becomes stuck between floors. The atmosphere is somewhat tense to say the least. Noticing literature that the women are carrying and the signs in their hands, you quickly deduce that the women are with N.O.W. the national organization for women. What can you say to these women to not only calm their fears but also to assert your manliness in a manly manner? Repeat after me
Событие
- 21, 34 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson on how to be manly. How to deal with a female gas station attendant. You are driving in your manly automobile say a Trans-AM or a camaro Z-28, when you notice you are low on fuel. You pull into a filling station and you see an attractive female attendant approaching your car. What can you say to her to assert your manliness? Repeat after me
Событие
- 21, 35 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson of how to be manly. Tonight you have a date with a lovely female in dire need of your manly gratification. Wanting to provide your date with only the best form of protection, you go to your favorite neighborhood drugstore to purchase your favorite and most reliable brand of condom. You tell the clerk behind the counter that you intend to make a purchase when he smugly replies
Событие
- 21, 36 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson of how to be manly. How to drive in a manly fashion. While driving in your pick-up truck, which has been jacked up the mandatory manly eight feet off the ground, you find yourself suddenly cutoff by another errant driver. What can you say to assert your manliness not only to the other driver, but also to everyone on the street? Repeat after me. 1. I see the horn blows. Now how about the driver? 2. Way to go buddy! Now show us how a heterosexual would do it! 3. Hey, pal, when your mother made moves like that I kicked her out of my bed! The usage of any of the above phrases will not only win the admiration of the errant driver, but it will also assert your manliness for all the surrounding pedestrian traffic. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.
Событие
- 21, 37 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our next lesson of how to be manly. How to terminate a relationship in a manly manner. Your girlfriend has been living with you. You thrilled her with manly stories from your manly past and you have given her more than her fair share of manly gratification. In other words, you've given her the best week of her life, and the time has come to terminate the relationship. How can you relay this information to your girlfriend in a manly manner? Repeat after me. 1. Would you please remove your clothes from my closet? I think they are much too large for my new girlfriend. 2. If it looks like my apartment is getting roomier it's because you're leaving. 3. good bye! And don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya! Use any of the above phrases and your girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend, will know exactly what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.
Событие
- 22, 38 суша
- Сообщение: Here's our first lesson of how to be manly. You're out on a date. You've spent fifty dollars on dinner, and thirty dollars on the symphony. At last you get your date back to her apartment and she does not produce the, shall we say, desired results. What can you say to assert your manliness in such a situation? 1. I'm sorry, I did not know that you were a lesbian. 2. How about if I throw in fifty bucks? 3. I'm sorry. I just assumed that since your mother did you would too. Use any of the above phrases and as your date throws you down the steps of the front porch, you will be sure that she knows just what kind of man you really are. Until next time, this is Mr. Manly saying be manly and good day.
Событие
- 45, 47 суша
- Сообщение: The Tests of Manliness are a series of fight events. Proceed with caution. This first fight should be a no brainer!!!
Событие
- 44, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!!! A peculiar plethora of pissed peasants!!
Событие
- 43, 47 суша
- Сообщение: Piece of cake! Let's have a wee bit of a tougher scrap!
Событие
- 42, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!!! A cornacopia of kooky crazy castle creeps!!!
Событие
- 41, 47 суша
- Сообщение: Alrighty then... no more Mr. Gnice Gnoll!!!!
Событие
- 40, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!!! A rowdy riot of raunchy rampart ripoffs!!
Событие
- 39, 47 суша
- Сообщение: You're very close to Manly enlightenment.
Событие
- 38, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!!! Tons of terrible & tiringly troublesome tower troops!!
Событие
- 37, 47 суша
- Сообщение: You are truely a man (or woman) of manly proportions! Only a few more fights left!
Событие
- 36, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!! A fearsome forray of freakish fortress fiends!!!
Событие
- 35, 47 суша
- Сообщение: (nonsense message of the day) Crap!!! I can't believe they voted off Elizabeth! She was a sweetie!! Boo friggin Hoo!!!
Событие
- 34, 47 суша
- Сообщение: LOOK!!! Dozens of dangerously dapper dugeon dweebs!!
Событие
- 33, 47 суша
- Сообщение: big fight coming up!!!
Событие
- 32, 47 суша
- Сообщение: REALLY big!!
Событие
- 31, 47 суша
- Сообщение: I'm not kidding!!
Событие
- 30, 47 суша
- Сообщение: Told ya!
Событие
- 29, 47 суша
- Сообщение: You didn't die!!!???? Inconceivable!!!!
Событие
- 28, 47 суша
- Сообщение: You made it! You should be proud of your manly accomplishment! Proceed and be enlightened! P.S. Take these spell points as a reward. Mr. Manly
Указатель
- 26, 45 суша
- Сообщение: Ahead
Указатель
- 48, 48 суша
- Сообщение: Welcome to the shrine of manliness! To glean the wisdom of Mr. Manly's teachings, you must first pass the Test of Manliness. Proceed.
Крестьянин
- 9, 15 суша
- Сообщение: A group of peasants with delusions of grandeur attack!!!
Крестьянин
- 21, 21 суша
- Сообщение: A group of peasants with delusions of grandeur attack!!!
Крестьянин
- 48, 57 суша
- Сообщение: A group of peasants with delusions of grandeur attack!!!
Крестьянин
- 60, 63 суша
- Сообщение: A group of peasants with delusions of grandeur attack!!!
Случайный монстр 5
- 9, 35 суша
- Сообщение: The vicious brutes block the passage!
Случайный монстр 5
- 65, 40 суша
- Сообщение: The vicious brutes block the passage!
Подземелье
- 18, 60 суша
- Название: Gnoll Construction
- Сообщение: The result of the gnoll's efforts
- Название: Rex Construction
- Сообщение: The results of Rex and Mini Rex's efforts
Указатель
- 0, 0 суша
- Сообщение: What the hell are you doing up here!? Begone!!!
Событие
- 22, 39 суша
- Сообщение: WARNING
Указатель
- 23, 40 суша
- Сообщение: Beyond this point is the Hall of Manliness. 15 lessons of manliness to tantilize the brain cells awaits those that continue forward.
Разбойник
- 35, 35 суша
- Сообщение: You catch a group of bandits in the middle of a heist! They attack!
Разбойник
- 39, 40 суша
- Сообщение: You catch a group of bandits in the middle of a heist! They attack!

Герои 3 - карта Trio of Doom

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