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Герои 3 - карта A Joke Too Far

26/05/2015Файл к игре: Heroes of Might and Magic 3: The Restoration of Erathia
A Joke Too Far
Трейнер к игреHeroes of Might and Magic 3: The Restoration of Erathia
Ещё называютГерои меча и магии 3: Возрождение Эрафии
Вышла на платформахPC
РазработчикNew World Computing
ЖанрStrategy
Дата выхода1999-03-01
One banana cream pie too many, one whoopee cushion in the wrong place, and just not enough good humor to go around. The Entertainment guild's Capital in Erathia, Slapknee, suddenly finds itself in the midst of a turf war over the future direction of comedy.

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A Joke Too Far0.05МБh3m
A Joke Too Far

Слухи

  • Peasants
    Peasants know some secret ways out of the city!
  • wheel
    You must see the famous Sinking Waterwheel of Slapknee, just south of the Main Park.
  • guards
    Strangely enough, the gate guards seem more interested in keeping people *in* the city than keeping marauders *out*!
  • Bile
    The river Bile? It's better now than in the old days. You were able to walk across the top of it then!
  • clowns
    The Clowns and the Slapstick artists were once the same faction. I heard that the Slapstickers were allergic to face paint.
  • mimes
    The last time the factions were united was the great Mime war in '67. Aye! Now that was a war!!!
  • Bile Bay
    In Bile Bay, there is a wizard isle which will teach you many magical powers.

События

  • Intro1
    Slapknee was officially adopted as the capitol of Antagarich's Entertainment Industry over 200 years ago. Nobody really had a problem with this, since it was built on a landfill, was downwind of the not-so-secret burial (rotting) grounds of the Behemoths, and the river Bile that runs through it is the most polluted on the continent and floods frequently. In fact, the other countries were so relieved to have so many of their questionable residents in one place, that they volunteered to maintain garrisons to protect the city.
  • Intro1orange
    You are the leader of the Clowns. You believe clowns are the only true form of entertainment, and should be recognized as such. But those hoighty-toighty Puppet Masters (blue). Jugglers (green), Standup Comedians (the raunchy type - Pink), Magicians (purple), and the Slapstickers (Red), have looked down upon your art form for too long! It's time to shelve the pies, take off the wigs and makeup (except for Tazar), and show them once and for all!
  • Intro1red
    You are the leader of the Slapstick Comics. You believe physical humor is the epitome of entertainment, and should be recognized as such. But those snotty Puppet Masters (blue). Jugglers (green), Standup Comedians (the raunchy type - Pink), Magicians (purple), and even the Clowns! (Orange), have looked down upon your art form for far too long! It is time to put away the rubber clubs and chickens, pray to the holy triumverant of your gang (Larry, Moe and Curly), and show them once and for all!
  • Intro1blue
    The Puppet Masters are an ancient and proud group. Puppetry can be used to act out plays ranging from the most hysterical comedies to the most profound tragedies. Unfortunately, your fellow entertainers constantly sneer at your art form as barely fit for children! But those Jugglers (green), Standup Comedians (the raunchy type - Pink), Magicians (purple), and even the Clowns (Orange), and Slapstick Artists! (Red) have looked down upon you for far too long! It is time to pull their strings and make them twitch!
  • Intro1green
    Juggling is the purest form of entertainment. You believe this sincerely because, well, you had better! (You are the leader of the Juggler sect But those snotty Puppet Masters (blue). Standup Comedians (the raunchy type - Pink), Magicians (purple), and even the Clowns (Orange) and Slapstick Artists! (red), make snide comments about your art form in front of your face even! We shall see what they have to say when you are juggling their lives at your fingertips!
  • Intro1purple
    Magicians are the most elite and powerful form of entertainment. (So you believe, since you are leader of that group!) The antics and gross humor of the other Entertainer sects are so far beneath you, that you believe that they shouldn't even be warm-up acts for your shows. Unfortunately, you are outnumbered: the Puppet Masters (blue). Jugglers (green), Standup Comedians (the raunchy type - Pink), the Clowns (Orange), and the Slapstick Artists (Red) resent your airs, aloofness, and snide comments. It has come to open warfare now, but at least they are not united against you. They all believe that their form of humor deserves to be recognized as the top form. You roll away the entertainment spell scrolls, and reach for scrolls that are a little more offense oriented...
  • Intro1pink
    You are the leader of the Stand Up Comedians. Raunchy humor is the only way to go! But those snotty Puppet Masters (blue). Jugglers (green), Magicians (purple), and even the Clowns (Orange) and Slapstick Artists (red), deride your art form constantly! It is time to put away the list of 50 words never to be used in front of Queen Catherine and show them how to play *really* dirty!
  • History
    It all started innocently enough. Ol' Tazar broke in naked (except for his makeup) to the retirement party of the magicians Siegfred and Roid. (The manticores didn't disappear one day like they were supposed to, and they ended up losing a couple of their extremities). Anyway, the clown threw some pies around, and made a clean escape, but the Magicians sect was not amused (to put it mildly). An open declaration of war was made the next day.
  • History3
    The next day, the latest transcript of the Master Puppeteer Rossalini was stolen from a copyist's shop, modified heavily, and returned. The play was produced as modified in front of the children of the town's elite at a Central Park picnic. The adult humor and language horrified the parents (although the kids loved it!) . The various sects declared war on the Puppet Masters, who did find out that the Stand-up Comics were behind the plot, but too late to prove their innocence.
  • History 4
    A gang of magicians wandering through downtown mistook a slapstick act put on by the Slapstick Artists as a clown show, and busted them up. It took awhile for the Slapstickers to figure out that the intruders were not pulling their punches (and were using real clubs!) and by then they were pretty badly mauled. The Slapstick Artists declared war on the Magicians, and the Clowns also (for no particular reason except that they've always disliked them)
  • History5
    The Jugglers, heretofore pretty much uninvolved with the fracas, got involved quickly when in one of the Stand-Up Comic's shows, a scathing parody was done of their patron saint: Fettulicini. The details are too explicit to go into here, but the end result of Fettulicini being a quadriplegic with a fetish for sheep was too much for the gang. War was declared against pretty much everybody, for the ill-will between the factions had been seething for decades.
  • The wall
    The wall around Slapknee is not really that impressive. In a search for cheap building materials, they simply paid wizards to raise up an army of earth elementals, who worked tirelessly to erect a huge, encompassing wall out of earth and mud. It definitely was cheap, but every time it rains the walls seem to shrink a bit.
  • Founding
    Slapknee was officially founded when One-Eye Bugnye, a shepherd and retired comedian, was chasing some sheep and discovered the place. He was heard to say the immortal words: What a filthy *&$%@#!!!, maybe I can sell it to some clowns back at lodge! (On a side note, it never was explained why the sheep were running away from old One-Eye in the first place, but various theories have been put forth.)
  • ammo cart
    The puppet masters appear to have made a new invention. The dreaded ammo cart (a heavily modified puppet transport) made its debut on the battlefield today. The Puppeteers still lost though, so I guess it can't be that dreaded!
  • ammo cart blue
    Your artificers have constructed a secret weapon for you. You send it out with a force.... and get soundly whipped! Apparently, the so called ammo cart was not a big factor. Maybe...maybe if you mounted some sort of powerful offensive weapon on it and called it a tank????...naaaahhhhh!!! You manage to sell the patent anyway.
  • first aid tent
    The Jugglers introduced a new war machine to the battlefield today. It was at first much feared, but then they found it had a very limited effect, as the long line of wounded had to fill out 40 different forms and have some sort of insurance before they could be admitted to the Last Aid Tent.
  • first aid tent green
    You hastily convert your backstage medical kit (always needed for throwing knife juggling shows) into a new invention called a First Aid Tent. The effect is totally ruined when you find out that it can only treat one creature at a time in the heat of battle, and the rest of the wounded were told to take two aspirin and survive until morning... You manage to sell the patent anyway.
  • book
    The Stand-Up Comedians published a new book recently. 101 Uses for a Dead Pixie shot up to number 1 on the Erathian bestseller charts. *Sigh*...the sad state that people have reached in their search for entertainment these days.
  • book pink
    Your new book was just published! 101 Uses for a Dead Pixie shot up to number 1 on the Erathian bestseller charts. With some satisfaction, you notice that the previous bestseller: 101 Behemoth Jokes by the Slapstick Artists is now at the bottom. The royalty sum comes in.
  • ballista
    Your spies report that the Slapstick Artists have converted their old human launcher props into some type of war machine. At first you fear the worst, but apparently their old Keystone Cops routine still kicks in automatically when they try to wind it up, so there seems to be little impact on the battlefield (aside from the spectators laughing at the ballista crew).
  • ballista red
    You had a brilliant idea during one of your brainstorming sessions. You took your old human launcher props and converted them to throw huge spears. Your high expectations for this new war machine are soon dashed, as your troops still do their Keystone Cops routine while trying to wind it up, so there seems to be little impact on the battlefield. You manage to sell the patent anyway.
  • song
    The Clown's newest song: Toss out...the Clowns goes triple platinum in Erathia. (The Bard's guild uses this wierd rating system for number of requests, no one knows why they chose platinum) While you can agree with the lyrics 100%, you resent the royalty fees that they will be getting.
  • song -orange
    Your new song: Toss out...the Clowns goes triple platinum in Erathia. (The Bard's guild uses this weird rating system for number of requests, no one knows why they chose platinum) . You get the royalty fees!
  • Magic Kits - Purple
    Strapped for cash for the war, you try and come up with new ways to make money. It appears you have found it. You get your peasant labor organized and start making cheap magic kits targeted at kids. It is only parlor tricks and sleight of hand, but they are immensely popular!
  • magic kits
    It seems the Magicians have found a unique way to make some cash. You come home from the war and find your own children playing with a cheap Magic Kit, featuring parlor tricks and sleight-of-hand. Grrrr!!!! How could they stoop so low!
  • siege
    During a relatively minor siege, the clowns found that throwing pies from the battlements was not a particularly effective deterrent. But then they hauled out Big Bertha. The one ton Pie did provide some pretty spectacular results. This also started the expression: The pie is falling! The pie is falling!
  • flowers
    A very nice arrangement of flowers came this morning. As you were looking for the card to find out who sent them, several of them squirted lemon juice in your eyes. After you roll around the floor in agony for awhile, you find out the Clowns sent them. Figures!
  • flowers orange
    Just to add a little flavor to the events lately, you arrange for a special gift to be sent to your opponents. Taking off from the old clown trick of water squirting flowers, you send out arrangements of lemon juice squirting flowers!
  • Rodeo Clowns
    The problem of having too many clown prisoners was uniquely solved when a traveling show of strange-looking people with broad hats and twangy accents bought them all from you. They muttered something about using them as bull-distracters, since no one else was crazy enough to do the job. (...And you thought Rodeo Clowns came about by accident! Teh!)
  • ballista
    A rather gruesome incident happened today during a small fight between the Clowns and the Jugglers. Apparently, the ballista operators were working a little too fast, and somehow shot one of their own people across the battlefield. (But he did take a pegasus out!). Now, all the forges have to put warning labels on them, showing a clown face with a circle and line through them.
  • balloon
    A strange sight today. You saw a giant balloon wafting up from the Puppet Masters' quarter. At first you thought it might have been the feared Skyship and despaired, but as it drifted closer you saw it was just a terrified gremlin spy strapped to a balloon. After 15 minutes of very enjoyable target practice by the ballista crews, you got a hit and saw the poor sap plummet into the Bile River. (There was a smack sound rather than a splash sound, which can easily be expected from *that* waterway)!
  • bowling
    The Slapstickers tried out a new invention today. It involved rolling huge round boulders at enemy formations. The boulders were too massive and slow to cause any damage, but afterwards the idea was used on a smaller scale, and thus the popular sport of bowling came about.
  • siege
    During a particularly nasty and prolonged siege, the Stand Up comics ended up throwing anything at hand over the walls at the besiegers. One enterprising soul grabbed the grease barrel from the kitchen, and laughed when he saw the attackers slipping around down below. The whole castle laughed when a torch was accidentally dropped down there. The resulting fire gave many a strategist ides...
  • Peasant Revolt
    The much-abused peasants in the city threaten to revolt. In a rare show of cooperation, you and your opponents pool your resources and defuse the situation by holding talk shows in the park where vapid announcers with good hair delve into their pitiful lives and pretend to care. Vast amounts of cotton candy, poke-puppets, magic kits (the defective ones), joke books, and rubber chickens are also handed out.
  • music
    In a truly fiendish move, the Standup comics invented some soft, lulling music and tried to lull the opposition to sleep during the battle. It had only partial success, in that it turned out to be enraging just as many people as it put to sleep. They sold the idea to some tinkerers who were putting together a vertical moving box contraption for multi-story buildings. (You knew something evil was behind elevator music, didn't you?)

Объекты

  • Крепость
    • 32, 66 подземелье
    • Название: The Big Top
  • Бастион
    • 48, 14 подземелье
    • Название: Juggle HQ
  • Цитадель
    • 58, 54 подземелье
    • Название: Vaudeville
  • Событие
    • 38, 45 подземелье
    • Сообщение: 5 gold pieces it will cost you to play with the light switch! (...and we get you coming back too, so don't try to bugger off without paying us the full 10!)
  • Зверолов
    • 32, 67 подземелье
    • Название: Clown Master
    • Биография: The Clown Master is head of the Clown faction, who believe that clowns are the purist form of entertainment. He has never yet met a cream pie that he didn't want to throw at somebody!
  • Боевой маг
    • 58, 55 подземелье
    • Название: Mr.Slapstick
    • Биография: Generally considered a low form of humor that plays to the masses, the Slapstick gang never-the-less believe that the majority rules, and that slapstick is the king of comedy!
  • Событие
    • 50, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Four Corners Market. If you can't find it here, it probably doesn't exist!
  • Событие
    • 40, 38 подземелье
    • Сообщение: On this site, Thag Pie-in-Face won a critical battle with a marauding group of mimes. (Supposedly, the mimes lost when he started to kick their kneecaps and groin areas, breaking their silence). By the overgrown condition of the memorial, you can tell how much Thag is valued now!
  • Событие
    • 21, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Wow! Massive traffic accident ahead. From the look of things, maybe we shouldn't have set off the Dung Grenade at the Ambulance Driver Christmas Party last year... Hmmm...Drinking and Driving. Drinking and Driving....and Crash?
  • Событие
    • 17, 36 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Wow! Massive traffic accident ahead. From the look of things, maybe we shouldn't have set off the Dung Grenade at the Ambulance Driver Christmas Party last year... Hmmm...Drinking and Driving. Drinking and Driving....and Crash?
  • Событие
    • 63, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Событие
    • 23, 2 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Событие
    • 26, 2 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Событие
    • 29, 2 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Событие
    • 54, 69 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Тролль
    • 34, 45 подземелье
    • Сообщение: C'mon! You knew there had to be trolls here!
  • Тролль
    • 35, 46 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Trolls....I hate trolls! (especially those board trolls who post abusive messages on all the signposts!)
  • Друид
    • 48, 15 подземелье
    • Название: Jugglemaster
    • Биография: Elected to lead the jugglers because of her mastery of the art form and the fact she was the only one to ever juggle 10 gremlin chains at once, the Jugglemaster must lead her gang to acceptance and prosperity.
  • Алхимик
    • 11, 9 подземелье
    • Название: Lorenzini
    • Биография: Lorenzini is the master of all puppeteers in the land. His crowning achievement was his staging of the Ballad of Catherine's Homecoming which takes 3 days and over 1000 puppets to perform.
  • Событие
    • 56, 38 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Slapknee University Quarter. THE original Party School (You notice students walking about in complete dazes and scattered jugs and casks everywhere. One particularly soused individual comes up, relieves himself on the entryway, waves vaguely at you, and wanders off). You curse yourself roundly for not checking up on this school before you worked your butt off elsewhere for 4 years.
  • Событие
    • 66, 32 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Slapknee University Quarter. THE original Party School (You notice the grounds are littered with the remnants of a huge party, with students scattered haphazardly everywhere sleeping, even though it is mid-morning). You definitely remember not having the brochure for this college when you were picking your place for higher learning. Maybe your Mom hid it from you? Hmmmmm.....)
  • Событие
    • 11, 41 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A huge sign in the entranceway of this enclave proclaims
  • Событие
    • 52, 43 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A gruesome sign covered with fake? blood hangs over a forbidding looking entranceway. Grond's Skool of Atttxxx....Attak...Killing - No mages allowed!
  • Событие
    • 18, 35 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The flowery enclave up ahead seems home to intellectuals of all persuasions. (Well, not all. A sign up front shows a Barbarian and a Beastmaster with red circles and lines through them, the assumption being that a written sign would be of little use)
  • Событие
    • 31, 29 подземелье
    • Сообщение: You are suddenly surrounded by a horde of thieves. The leader steps forward and sighs
  • Замок
    • 46, 34 подземелье
    • Название: The Guv's
  • Событие
    • 46, 38 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The territorial Governer's Mansion lies to the North. No one has really seen him, but it is rumored that he has absolutely no sense of humor. Here in the city of entertainers, not one person has been invited inside to perform.
  • Крестоносец
    • 46, 36 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hey! What are you clowns doing in here?
  • Событие
    • 9, 58 подземелье
    • Сообщение: ***The Clown Cemetery*** A good clown never dies, they just stop throwing pies.
  • Событие
    • 59, 65 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Masters of Slapstick Cemetery They died with a 'nyuk...nyuk...nyuk' on their lips!
  • Событие
    • 11, 60 подземелье
    • Сообщение: These giant machines were originally invented as giant pie throwing devices. It didn't work out too well, but at least somebody has moved in since and makes good use of them!
  • Событие
    • 9, 53 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The Home of the Lifted Lorax. (Notice the Grickle Grass and the solitary crows)
  • Событие
    • 27, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hmmmm...Some people's dogs have been digging in the park again!
  • Событие
    • 5, 44 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The official City Dump looks completely unused and deserted. Apparently this explains why the river is so polluted that you can practically walk across it!
  • Событие
    • 4, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A massive guard protects us from the unfriendlies outside the wall. Wait a minute! How come all the guards are facing to the inside! D'oh!
  • Событие
    • 17, 64 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Welcome to the Peasanton subdivision. The future of collective farming. *Please recruit sparingly*
  • Боевой гном
    • 8, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The Moneyinthefist dwarf clan does not take kindly to potential withdrawals.
  • Боевой гном
    • 12, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The Moneyinthefist dwarf clan does not take kindly to potential withdrawals.
  • Боевой гном
    • 10, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The main clan force attacks. Oh well, dwarves were never appreciative of the entertainment arts anyway. (And they *never* tipped after a performance either!)
  • Гарпия ведьма
    • 31, 42 подземелье
    • Сообщение: You had noticed that the park was covered in pigeon poop...apparently it was not pigeons that were so freely spreading their excrement!
  • Событие
    • 17, 43 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Wow! Massive traffic accident ahead. From the look of things, maybe we shouldn't have set off the Dung Grenade at the Ambulance Driver Christmas Party last year... Hmmm...Drinking and Driving. Drinking and Driving....and Crash?
  • Событие
    • 2, 49 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Shantytown (It boggles the imagination that anyone would actually want to move to Slapknee, but apparently this crowd is part of the Grass is always greener... sect.
  • Событие
    • 10, 67 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Shifty-looking clown rejects (read
  • Событие
    • 28, 13 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hmmm....I'll bet the helmsman here said Oooops! (before he jumped ship and swam for shore)
  • Бутылка
    • 42, 21 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hey! LOOK UP! You are about to run out of water!
  • Бутылка
    • 30, 22 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Help! This city is insane! Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, Here I am, Stuck in the middle with you...
  • Событие
    • 27, 29 подземелье
    • Сообщение: There is so much junk floating in this polluted river, that you can visibly see your speed diminishing. (Perhaps if you got out and pushed?)
  • Событие
    • 36, 37 подземелье
    • Сообщение: An old man fishing tells you
  • Событие
    • 67, 41 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Poppy fields. *NO SAMPLES* . . . . . . . . . Yes! This means you!
  • Событие
    • 69, 37 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Shantytown (It boggles the imagination that anyone would actually want to move to Slapknee, but apparently this crowd is part of the Grass is always greener... sect.
  • Событие
    • 43, 2 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The Great Zambezi, retired Master Juggler, offers to show you a secret way out of the city for a pension fee of 500 gold. You can't help but notice that he has only one finger left on each hand, and then you remember the story about the jealous rival who switched his regular juggling swords with Swords of Sharpness...
  • Событие
    • 63, 69 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Belugi, of the renowned comic team of the Belugi Brothers, offers to show you a secret way out of the city. He is in mourning and asks for a 500 gp contribution for the funeral of his brother. It seems their last gag of trying to catch a falling piano hit a little snag...
  • Событие
    • 12, 13 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Longshoreman's Corner (Better take advantage of us now, before we learn what a Union is!)
  • Событие
    • 10, 29 подземелье
    • Сообщение: ***The Puppet Masters Cemetery*** May their strings never go still.
  • Событие
    • 18, 25 подземелье
    • Сообщение: High class Tower District. If you ain't blue, overendowed with arms, or stature blessed... . . . Get out!
  • Событие
    • 61, 4 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Jugglers' Cemetery The balls will never hold still The pins will know the drill Even death cannot kill If another learns the skill
  • Событие
    • 37, 60 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The amazing, sinking waterwheel! (So it isn't the leaning tower of Pisa... Hey! What did you expect around here!)
  • Кочевник
    • 9, 62 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Uhnnnn!!!! Clown think he funny, ...but he not!
  • Дендроид воин
    • 12, 55 подземелье
    • Сообщение: We trees have got to stick together!
  • Дендроид воин
    • 15, 55 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hey! Where do you think you are going with that ax?
  • Случайный монстр 4
    • 32, 38 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Where do you think *YOU* are going without buying a ticket?
  • Кочевник
    • 8, 33 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Ugh! Puppets are silly!
  • Черт
    • 34, 51 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Like rabid Chihuahuas insulted by a stature challenged joke, the hordes attack!
  • Королева наг
    • 28, 47 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Dang! Look what crawled out of that polluted river! All the possible jokes you were thinking of about many-handed women die on your lips when you notice the extremely sharp cutlery they are waving about.
  • Разбойник
    • 41, 49 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Aha! Your money or your....my life? Yipe!
  • Разбойник
    • 26, 43 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Ah! What good is a park without the muggers?!
  • Фанатик
    • 46, 47 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Repent! Oh self-indulgent and frivolous jesters!
  • Королева медуз
    • 38, 31 подземелье
    • Сообщение: You know...some day somebody is going to have to clean up that river. The mutants coming out of there now are just ridiculous!
  • Башня
    • 15, 33 подземелье
    • Название: Main Library
    • Название: Fees.
    • Сообщение: Library Maintenance Fee. Hey! It costs a lot for this place where books are usually thrown or juggled rather than read!
  • Событие
    • 14, 34 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Ahead lies Slapknee's central library. Hmmmm....it appears a bit run-down. Well, what would you expect in an Entertainment town?
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 18, 61 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Something jumps out at you! A ferocious-looking.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 inch high Jack-in-the-Box, drops a single gold piece, and promptly explodes. Concealed inside was a dung bomb. You examine the gold piece after you clean yourself up. It says
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 48, 60 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Something jumps out at you! A ferocious-looking.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 inch high Jack-in-the-Box, drops a single gold piece, and promptly explodes. Concealed inside was a dung bomb. You examine the gold piece after you clean yourself up. It says
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 58, 9 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Something jumps out at you! A ferocious-looking.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 inch high Jack-in-the-Box, drops a single gold piece, and promptly explodes. Concealed inside was a dung bomb. You examine the gold piece after you clean yourself up. It says
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 18, 21 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Hey! What is this doing here? You are the Puppet Masters around here. You send in a flunky to open it... The box disappears, and a small earth elemental pops out of the ground in front of you and shoves a banana cream pie in your face. A little gift from the Clowns. They are looking forward to having a puppet bonfire soon!
  • Крестоносец
    • 45, 41 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The city guard does *not* like the look of your following!
  • Крестоносец
    • 23, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The city guard does *not* like the look of your following!
  • Событие
    • 14, 7 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Welcome to Smuggler's Cove!
  • Событие
    • 19, 45 подземелье
    • Сообщение: High rent Fortress District. Wandering pets will be *eaten*!
  • Событие
    • 14, 39 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Wow! Massive traffic accident ahead. From the look of things, maybe we shouldn't have set off the Dung Grenade at the Ambulance Driver Christmas Party last year... Hmmm...Drinking and Driving. Drinking and Driving....and Crash?
  • Событие
    • 33, 29 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Welcome to Thieves' quarter! Admittance (and exit) fee is 25 gold!
  • Разбойник
    • 34, 29 подземелье
    • Сообщение: You're here to collect the overdue entertainment expenses we incurred at our last convention? Bah! Here is your payment....
  • Событие
    • 44, 4 подземелье
    • Сообщение: An experiment to provide instant and enthusiastic audiences, these peasants were encouraged to settle here. The idea of a laughtrack was tried, but soon discarded when it was realized that no recording medium had been developed yet. However, they are handy for cleaning up after the shows.
  • Событие
    • 53, 4 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The HalfHorse Ranch. (Some would say that they would be preferred to called half-human!)
  • Событие
    • 42, 19 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Welcome to Elf Isle. Pier 21 North Pier 18 NorthWest Free 3 hour tours of beauti...(scratched out) stately (scratched out) serene (scratched out) errr watery Bile Harbor.
  • Указатель
    • 49, 25 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Altar Road. A new sacrifice place for each day of the week!
  • Событие
    • 40, 30 подземелье
    • Сообщение: You've always heard that Banks were run by snakes, but you always thought it was a figurative term!
  • Событие
    • 59, 19 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Automatic Juggler Machine Experiment. (Thank goodness the millers have come and taken over. The experiment didn't seem to work out too well)
  • Событие
    • 23, 31 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Back entrance to the Garden of Enlightenment. (Health warning! Don't chew any of the purple flowers. They cause you to hallucinate about purple, spell casting dragons!)
  • Событие
    • 29, 56 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Lookout Point (This used to be the local make out place for the town's teenagers, until the behemoths moved in. The resulting shouts of look out! became the permanent name of the place.
  • Событие
    • 36, 66 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The enterprising residents here have found their own way to adapt to the rancid river Bile's occasional floods. Homes on stilts! Cool in the summer also, but you have to watch out for beavers.
  • Событие
    • 44, 59 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Peasants were encouraged to settle here. They provided ready made audiences for new acts, and you can always grab a few and try out some new invention and routine, and see if it hurts!
  • Событие
    • 66, 58 подземелье
    • Сообщение: A Master Planned Community by the Gohrab Desert Group! The first (and only) experiment in multi-unit wasteland dwelling habitats.
  • Событие
    • 48, 47 подземелье
    • Сообщение: The holy temple of Bozo lies ahead. (You were probably tipped off by the priests in clown makeup). Clowns from all over Antagarich make a pilgrimage here at least once in their lives in order to pay their respects to their patron sain....errrr...clown.
  • Событие
    • 42, 44 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Welcome to the Spiritual Quarter of Slapknee. Please loosen the pursestrings and give freely!
  • Событие
    • 44, 42 подземелье
    • Сообщение: Few know about it, but this area used to be an insane asylum. In fact, the asylum provided the initial population of Slapknee (not especially surprising) One day the guards just up and walked away, figuring Slapknee was far enough away from civilized areas not to be a threat, but they hadn't heard of the concept of tours yet. The asylum was pulled down and the building materials used for temples for the many diverse gods worshipped here.
  • Адский троглодит
    • 66, 71 суша
    • Сообщение: Hmmm...this abandoned mine has a trog infestation so severe that they're about ready to Swarm!
  • Инферно
    • 27, 12 суша
    • Название: The Improv
  • Еретик
    • 27, 13 суша
    • Название: Gallagher
    • Биография: Gallagher is the king of the Stand-up Comedian Gang. His shows are wildly popular because of his ever-popular sledge-o-matic routine of imps, gremlins, and leprechauns.
  • Подземелье
    • 60, 45 суша
    • Название: Las Vegas
  • Чернокнижник
    • 60, 46 суша
    • Название: Houdini
    • Биография: Houdini is the most famous of the magician gang, and is their current leader. The only trap that ever defeated him was....Chinese handcuffs???!!!
  • Событие
    • 8, 4 суша
    • Сообщение: Ahh!!! your secret gang stash. You always knew that you would need these resources someday. Hmmmm...maybe you should have kept up the maintenance of the place, it seems some unwelcome residents have moved in!
  • Событие
    • 58, 6 суша
    • Сообщение: Ahh!!! your secret gang stash. You always knew that you would need these resources someday. Hmmmm...maybe you should have kept up the maintenance of the place, it seems some unwelcome residents have moved in!
  • Событие
    • 66, 63 суша
    • Сообщение: Ahh!!! your secret gang stash. You always knew that you would need these resources someday. Hmmmm...maybe you should have kept up the maintenance of the place, it seems some unwelcome residents have moved in!
  • Событие
    • 35, 69 суша
    • Сообщение: Ahh!!! your secret gang stash. You always knew that you would need these resources someday. Hmmmm...maybe you should have kept up the maintenance of the place, it seems some unwelcome residents have moved in!
  • Событие
    • 54, 50 суша
    • Сообщение: Magician's Cemetery They couldn't quite get that sawn in half trick down Please pay your respects to *both* half-coffins.
  • Событие
    • 18, 12 суша
    • Сообщение: Comedian Cemetery They may be dead here, but they never died on stage!
  • Событие
    • 51, 37 суша
    • Сообщение: Wow! An imported labor pool. Well, they can at least see better than troggies, (but that is the only upside, here)
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 44, 42 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 40, 44 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 40, 41 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 40, 42 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 45, 44 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 46, 43 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 47, 42 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 41, 48 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 42, 49 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 46, 49 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 47, 49 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 35, 37 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 38, 36 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 37, 35 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 55, 31 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 56, 30 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 54, 32 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 58, 38 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 60, 37 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 63, 38 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 59, 42 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 38, 33 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 37, 34 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 39, 32 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 41, 32 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 42, 33 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 43, 34 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 44, 35 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Событие
    • 17, 23 суша
    • Сообщение: Another Master Planned Community! *Yeah...right!* (and you thought your subdivision was hell!) Imported labor for the tasks that even imps refuse to do.
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 30, 37 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 33, 36 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 40, 30 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 45, 31 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 42, 29 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 48, 33 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 48, 38 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 51, 38 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Хижина предсказателя
    • 54, 43 суша
    • Сообщение: Hey! this is a private residence! Get OUT!
  • Крестоносец
    • 32, 35 суша
    • Сообщение: The city watch...uh oh!
  • Крестоносец
    • 43, 30 суша
    • Сообщение: The city watch asks for your papers...
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 27, 33 суша
    • Сообщение: Something jumps out at you! A ferocious-looking.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 inch high Jack-in-the-Box, drops a single gold piece, and promptly explodes. Concealed inside was a dung bomb. You examine the gold piece after you clean yourself up. It says
  • Ящик Пандоры
    • 51, 44 суша
    • Сообщение: Something jumps out at you! A ferocious-looking.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 inch high Jack-in-the-Box, drops a single gold piece, and promptly explodes. Concealed inside was a dung bomb. You examine the gold piece after you clean yourself up. It says
  • Событие
    • 33, 33 суша
    • Сообщение: An old inventor demands 10 gold for you to play with his greatest invention. (5 now, 5 when you come back) It's called the Escape Clause It lets you get off the stage in one piece when you are bombing big time and the audience starts waving lynch ropes and torches.
  • Событие
    • 49, 38 суша
    • Сообщение: One has to wonder whether these mushroom homes are edible. It would be very convenient if all you had to do for dinner was shave a few inches off the wall!
  • Событие
    • 61, 48 суша
    • Сообщение: A pretty happy Dungeon populace lives here. (Primarily because all those imported peasants get to do the *really* dirty jobs)!
  • Событие
    • 64, 44 суша
    • Сообщение: Wicked Witch of the North ^ Wicked Witch of the N.E. ^ Wicked Witch of the N.W. ^ Wicked Witch of the East ---> Wicked Witch of the West <--- Wicked Witch of the S.W. <--- Wicked Witch of the S.E. ---> Wicked Witch of the South v Wicked Witch of the Centerish, Near East type area
  • Событие
    • 33, 40 суша
    • Сообщение: Wow! Dragons! What if we could get these beasts into the magic act.... Naaaahhh...would if one of them coughed and fried the first 3 rows of the audience?
  • Событие
    • 22, 20 суша
    • Сообщение: Wow! Finally! The Imps rejoice. Something more pathetic than us! *They go up and start tormenting the nearest peasant*
  • Событие
    • 40, 20 суша
    • Сообщение: Dang! These witches have seem to have ignored the zoning laws. (Of course, any building inspectors would have been turned into newts, so who is going to stop them?
  • Указатель
    • 36, 32 суша
    • Сообщение: Welcome to Caverns Central. We hope your spelunking experience has been a pleasant one. Concourse Pink....Northwest Concourse Purple....Southeast
  • Событие
    • 31, 15 суша
    • Сообщение: Welcome to Hell's Gardens! (And you thought the building density in your subdivision was bad!)
  • Событие
    • 24, 30 суша
    • Сообщение: The True Kings of Comedy. (at least they think so!)
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